We hope you enjoy our collection of science jokes and puns. Follow us on social media for more, and let us know if you have any good ones!
I’d post something about “Separation Anxiety”, but I’m going through a phase right now.
“Yes, love is a potent drug, Miss Richmond… But I still don’t think we can analyze it using Gas Chromatography.
Somebody asked me recently if there were any good chemistry puns left.
I said, “ionestly don’t know.”
Q: What is an organic chemist’s favorite pasta dish?
Q…What is a pirate’s favorite element?
A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar – the barman says ‘what’s the matter – you don’t look yourself today
The Hydrogen atom says: ‘I think I’ve lost my electron’
The barman asks – ‘Are you sure?’
The Hydrogen atom replies: ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink
Asks the bartender: “How much do I owe you?”
The bartender replies: “For you, no charge”
Two scientists decided to head to the local pub for a beverage after a hard day in the lab. The first one says, “I’d like some H2O.” The second says, “And I’ll have some H2… wait. Why aren’t you just referring to water by its normal name? I mean, I know it’s our job, but we’re just getting a drink.” The first scientist slams the bar angrily, for his assassination scheme had been foiled.
Q: Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
If you feel a little depressed today, rub a balloon on your hair.
Electrons will be transferred to the balloon, thereby making you more positive.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, then you may as well barium.
Did you hear about the time Medusa tried to get a job in a microbiology lab? All her samples turned out badly.
They were petri-fied.
When I die I want my body donated to science. Preferably to a scientist working on bringing dead people back to life…
I was going to tell you a joke about Microbiology but I’m afraid it will go viral…
How much space do you need to grow Fungi?
As mushroom as possible!
Q: What does a Geneticist keep in the garden?
I recently heard about a new book in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross-country adventure. I was pretty interested in this, so headed to my local library to see if they had a copy. The librarian said my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
Well, that is all for now, we hope you have had a few laughs you can share with your lab and will update this list as we find more great science jokes!